My Last Letter to Isaac

Dear Isaac,

Thank you for doing exactly what i feared you would.

You see when i said that i felt hard to love and you said it couldn’t be true,

apart of me knew that you had never truly experienced depression. 

Depression is not sadness that passes easily with a hug and I love you.

Thank you for saying that reassuring me was wearing you thin,

especially when I created a road map for you early on because I wanted so badly for you to survive this with me. 

Thank you for giving me guidelines on when to contact you even though less than 24 hours ago you said you weren’t going anywhere and that our friendship meant the world to you. 

Thank you for saying that you weren’t like everyone else and then….acting exactly like everyone else, how refreshing. 

Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU!

For being everything I feared you would be when things were no longer easy

When I was no longer easy to deal with

When I was no longer easy to love

Thank you for saying I love you right after you threw me away for the last time that I was going to allow because it proves that you never loved me. 

Living is not easy.

Life has never been easy for me.

Thank you for helping me to see that it's easy to lie to my face

K.P.